Have you been betrayed?
Experiencing infidelity like having a tornado rip through your home, leaving it in shambles. Typically, in a crisis such as this, you would turn to your partner for support and comfort, only in this case your partner has caused the damage. It can feel impossible make sense of it all and to move forward. You might be sifting through every piece of information you can find trying to make sense of what you’ve learned. Infidelity can leave one feeling overwhelmed, insecure, fearful, anxious, depressed, and “crazy”.
Here is a list of common experiences that can occur after discovering betrayal:
Intrusive Thoughts and Flashbacks
Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Inability to Concentrate or Make Decisions
Struggle to Eat
Constant Searching for Information Regarding the Betrayal
Isolation and Difficulty Confiding in Others
Anger and Irritability
Insecurity and Loss of Self Esteem
Infidelity and Betrayal Trauma
When infidelity is discovered, it creates a fragment in one’s reality. It is difficult to determine what is true from what is untrue. This is one of the common reasons why the betrayed individual engages in constant searching of information regarding the betrayal. Betrayal trauma occurs after discovery and if previous trauma of any kind was experienced (i.e. childhood trauma), the trauma becomes complexed making it more difficult to sort through and heal.
Another impact of betrayal trauma is difficulty trusting oneself. After discovery, the betrayed individual may find it difficult to trust their decisions and judgments and may blame themselves for the pain they are experiencing. This loss of trust makes it difficult to move forward and make new decisions necessary to heal.
Is it possible to heal from infidelity?
It is possible to heal from infidelity and move forward in a meaningful way. Moving forward includes finding ways to trust yourself and others again while overcoming triggers created by the betrayal. If you are the betrayed individual, you may find it frustrating that you are in a position of so much pain that you did not cause yet are responsible for moving forward and healing. We are here to help you take the steps to healing.
Are you the person who has betrayed your partner?
We work with both the person who has been betrayed and the person who has done the betraying. Having worked with infidelity as much as we have, we understand the complexity of affairs. Most individuals who engage in an affair feel they needed something or are missing something. This may include feeling unappreciated, undesired, and unlovable or feeling overwhelmed with stress or not good enough. Our goal is to help you understand the underlying layers to the behavior so that you can break unhealthy patterns. Healing infidelity behavior is like pulling weeds; if you want the weeds to stop growing, you don’t just cut off the top of the weed so it seems it disappears…you need to uproot the weed so it doesn’t grow back. The work done with your therapist will help you “uproot” the underlying layers so you can move forward in your life without the unhealthy patterns.
What does infidelity counseling look like?
Infidelity counseling can take a variety of steps depending on the
status of the relationship. For couples who are seeking to heal their
relationship, both individual and couples counseling is
recommended. This type of approach is helpful for addressing the
infidelity head on and providing a supportive process. Individual
counseling is necessary for healing the many layers necessary
to move forward. We take a comprehensive approach to healing
infidelity; topics such as trauma, attachment, emotional regulation
and coping skills, boundaries, and healthy communication are discussed. You and your therapist will work together to create a plan for you and your relationship (if applicable) so that you can move forward and heal.
Get started with Infidelity Counseling
Our specialized therapists can help you overcome infidelity and heal in a meaningful way. You and your therapist will work together to understand the full impact of the infidelity and create a comprehensive treatment plan to help you move forward and heal. Healing from infidelity is possible with the right help and support.