Couples Therapy

Who it's for

Couples who want to understand each other better and feel close again. You don't have to be in crisis to start. Some couples come after a betrayal; others notice that the same arguments keep coming back and nothing they try changes them.

Common concerns

• Constant arguing, often about the same things
• Blame and criticism
• Resentment that builds over time
• Feeling like roommates rather than partners
• Little or no physical intimacy
• Trying to change things, without anything changing
• Rebuilding trust after a betrayal

What to expect

Your therapist starts with an assessment of your relationship. Together you look at what shapes how you react to each other: attachment styles, childhood and family experiences, culture, spirituality and any relationship injuries, such as betrayal.

From there you identify the cycle you get caught in as a couple, and the emotions, beliefs and stories underneath it, so that each of you understands the other's reactions.

How we work

Once you both see the cycle, your therapist helps you change it. You learn to put your needs, fears and deeper feelings into words, to accept each other's experience, and to respond in new ways, even when conflict is present.

Then you bring new ways of handling differences into everyday life, so you can face problems together without questioning your partner or the relationship. We look at the whole picture, not just the presenting problem.